Money & Marriage

Mad Jack · Posted: Sun Apr 20, 2008 8:46 am Post subject: Money & Marriage

So Rae'ya and I were talking the other day.

What do you think about money in a marriage and the notion of 'his' and 'her' money? Do you think that a couple should keep their money separate or combined...or something in the middle?

Personally, I think that marriage = unity and so my money is my wife's money. I do, however, think that a little pocket money and money for spending needs to be had individually.

Anyone have different thoughts?

Rae'ya · Posted: Sun Apr 20, 2008 9:17 am Post subject:

Well you already know my thoughts on the matter, love, but for everyone else... Mad Jack and I see 100% the same on this one. lol

Natara · Posted: Sun Apr 20, 2008 9:55 am Post subject:

I don't mind combining my money since I trust my partner. I think it's easier, and it would earn more interest so there'd be more money.

My partner is very stingy, so I'm not sure if he'd be comfortable sharing all of his money. He seems to treat money as if it were a hobby. So when it's spent, it's like he's lost something precious. I don't really understand, but I'm willing to respect his feelings. If it makes him happiest and feel safest for him to have control over his own money, then I'm happy to abide.

So I'm fairly impartial to either option. I think it may be to each his/her own.

I hear that money is one of the biggest reasons couples fight and marriages split, and I'd assume that's when money is tight. My partner and I are not in a money-tight situation yet, so my complacency is probably naivety.

Edit: If there are arguments about who earns money and who spends it all, maybe separate bank accounts would be a useful solution.

Rae'ya · Posted: Sun Apr 20, 2008 10:06 am Post subject:

I can understand resentment over shared money when one partner earns considerably more than the other or is the sole earner, but I'm not sure that I agree. As long as the money is being spent wisely and not being squandered away... I guess it helps having the same values too. And having similar ideas about how to spend and what is worth it. I admit that I can get a bit hung up on whether something is worth it's cost, but I'm not a scrooge by any means. T and I also agree that expensive purchases are a joint decision, not an individual one, which is a part of where the idea of individual 'pocket money' comes from, for incidentals and small purchases.

My parents have always operated on shared money, where both incomes go into the one account, and it works perfectly fine for us. But I know people who keep theirs separate and it works equally well for them, it just seems like a very alien concept to me. *shrugs*

Natara · Posted: Sun Apr 20, 2008 10:30 am Post subject:

Jupiter · Registered Member Joined: 24 Feb 2008 Posts: 21

Well as the only one the has a job in my family..Not saying the my wife donesn'twork..she has a house hold to run..and I believe she probably does more than I ..

I am self-emp..Our money..has always been our money.."NEVER mine" if she needs something..just simply go get it..

I can't see myself..trying to barrow from my wife..or her barrowing from me.. although I know people that do this..

My parents for example do this..they separate there money..I find it odd...but it works for them..one pays the electric..and the other the food..and insurance and house..that sort of thing..

I think when I said "For richer or poorer" that meant us..not you because you have money and I don't..but that just me..I think..

Jupiter

Very Happy

randwulf · Posted: Wed May 21, 2008 1:04 am Post subject:

My partne and I have 1 checking account both of us have a debit card and both ipf us have our paychecks direct deposit. It has been that way since since we've been together which will be 11 yrs in Nov. It is our money and we spend it when we need to. No questions except which bills to pay this time and what groceries etc to buy. I like it that way and so does he. It works well for us..
Randy
_________________

Natara · Posted: Wed May 21, 2008 2:40 am Post subject:

badeth · Joined: 19 Aug 2009 Posts: 1

A lot of people often argue in handling finances during marriage. I think it's not an issue if couples decide not to combine their finances. If you wish to have a separate accounts, it doesn't necessarily mean that you don't trust your partner.

However, the idea that couples should combine their money because they are no longer separate entities can become successful if the two have a respectful talk about financial values and expectations. If you're into this kind of arrangement, both partners must discuss the overall goals including the expenses and savings.
_________________
know the spousal support laws by state

Rae'ya · Posted: Sun Aug 23, 2009 2:06 am Post subject:

I agree with you, Badeth. I think it's very dependant on both of the couple's individual values and attitudes towards money. I think problems arise when the partner's disagree about their chosen method of financial management. If you aren't on the same page, then you're likely to squabble over the way things should be and should be spent. But if you agree, then you can make any method work perfectly for you as a couple.

And welcome to the forum, Badeth Very Happy

I hope you find what you need here and just let me know if you have any questions or issues. Very Happy