Quitting

Rae'ya · Posted: Sun Oct 19, 2008 5:53 am Post subject:

Oh honey *hugs* Are you sure it's just nicotine in those pipes? We're here for you whether you go and buy that pack or not. But remember it's not like smoking a pipe at all.

Natara · Posted: Mon Oct 20, 2008 4:00 am Post subject:

Well, I mean it was tobacco (from this kind of pipe). I was also really drunk when I posted, and it was like I was having some really strange but somewhat relieving block towards everything emotional. (Default emotion is a shallow happiness? Or maybe just a mirror of others.) So it could have been more than just the nicotine causing my euphoria, but the nicotine was certainly a catalyst for the 15 minutes or so during/directly after smoking the pipe.

I think I honestly disturbed my boyfriend. He gave the pipe he bought for himself and the pipe tobacco to his father. I was a little resentful, and I was also a little surprised at how rude he was being seeing as how his father expressed interest in not even casually smoking again. Overall, though, I'm relieved, because there's no way I can get my paws on it again. It was a good decision.

I'm not smoking again. There are too many other things I want to try that are healthy and may help me deal with my emotional troubles. I feel like a whole new world of healing techniques has opened up since last month.

Rae'ya · Posted: Wed Oct 22, 2008 5:19 am Post subject:

You know I'm really relieved at this reply, and I wasn't sure whether you would take it up again after the pipe incident or not. Do you know why your bf gave his pipe away? Was it specifically because of you smoking/not smoking or some other reason?

Natara · Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2008 4:59 am Post subject:

When I asked him, he only said that it was one of those things he wanted to try at least once. "I don't really want to try it again," was his conclusion.

Natara · Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 6:14 am Post subject:

It's been 16 weeks and a day since I decided to quit smoking. In that time, I only had 4 cigarettes and one thing of pipe, totaling 3 days that I slipped. Mr. Green

Natara · Posted: Wed Dec 24, 2008 6:08 pm Post subject:

It's been over 5 months now, although I don't have my calendar with me, so I couldn't tell you exactly how many days. Every day in the US, I'm confronted with cigarettes. There were days I could go without noticing them in Tassy, but it seems a bit... in my face here (although I know it's all on my end and not something I'd blame the country/people for).

So I had one cigarette after my dog died. It seems to be something of a way for me to mourn. I didn't buy a pack, because I knew I'd be satisfied with just the one, that it was something ritualistic. It made me feel so sick XP but I was happier after that.

I've come up north with my best friend, since she was going to be alone on Christmas and it was a free way to spend a lot of time with her. I'm likely only going to get to see her once (if I'm lucky) after this trip before I leave again. She's a chain smoker. Living with her has brought back some of the cravings, but I'm pretty sure I can get through these (they are nothing compared to the three and a half months...). If anything, she refuses to be an enabler, and I wouldn't be able to smoke even if I wanted to. Wink

Wolfmoon · Posted: Sat Dec 27, 2008 4:54 pm Post subject:

Congratulations Natara you are doing so well, keep it up.
I am hoping to stop smoking soon I made a half hearted attempt a few weeks ago but there was so much going on I caved pretty quickly, feeble excuse I know Very Happy

You are truly inspiring, well done

Hugs
Wolf
_________________
There are times when we must sink to the bottom of our misery to understand truth, just as we must descend to the bottom of a well to see the stars in broad daylight. --Vaclav Havel

Natara · Posted: Sat Dec 27, 2008 9:41 pm Post subject:

Natara · Posted: Sat Mar 07, 2009 1:47 pm Post subject:

It's almost been 7 and 1/2 months since I quit last July. Smile

I thought I'd let you guys know that I'm still "on the wagon" and going strong. I've been completely "clean" for 79 days now.

Rae'ya · Posted: Sun Mar 08, 2009 2:47 am Post subject:

Whoooo Natara! I was thinking about that the other day when reading Aleia's binge eating blog... wondering if you were still not-smoking. Very Happy

You did a fantastic job and especially to have kept it up! How do you feel about it? Do you still get cravings or do you feel like the hard part is over?

Natara · Posted: Mon Mar 09, 2009 7:59 am Post subject:

Natara · Posted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 1:11 pm Post subject:

I think I'm still making some progress. A friend of mine back home unexpectedly killed herself; it was a huge shock, and I'm still grieving. In the past year, when someone I've cared about has died, I've had to smoke, maybe to feel closer to them and closer to death. But this time, I haven't even considered reaching for a lighter, so to speak.